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    Charlotte Purls

    Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

    and they call me 'Mommy'...

    Drips and dribbles of my life and the things that peak my interest... mainly the kidlets and knitting.

    Friday, March 16, 2007

    The Middle Wife

    The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
    myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
    second-grade classroom a few years back.

    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
    sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
    usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
    model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I
    never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they
    want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
    outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
    class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
    brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

    "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then
    Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate
    for nine months through an umbrella cord."

    She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
    trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids
    are watching her in amazement.

    "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
    'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She
    walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!"

    Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

    "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
    doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
    Mom to lie down in bed like this."

    Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

    "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there
    in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the
    bed, like psshhheew!"

    This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
    flowing away. It was too much!

    "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
    breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,
    all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff
    that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a
    lot of toys inside there."

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
    her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when
    it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
    another "Middle Wife" comes along.

    That was just so cute that I had to share it. :)



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