Becoming a Doula

I know what I want to be when I grow up....

A Doula.

After having two great births, I want to help others do the same. John and I had thought about teaching Bradley Childbirth classes after Dory was born, but I wanted to wait until I had another birth under my belt. Closer to Jack's arrival, I started to realize that it wasn't Bradley that I loved so much but the natural childbirth itself and that Bradley was only one way of reaching for that goal. Even when a birth goes 'wrong' and unexpected events occur, it is still possible to have had a great birth and i want to help moms facilitate that. Most of this was realized fully when one of my friends at church was due the same time as I was, and we knew she would only be a day or so behind Jack's birth.
She was very interested in natural birth and had prepared herself for that avenue... but I felt like after talking to her that i just wished I could be there for her to help her through the journey. Now, she never asked this of me, and I don't know if she would have even if I wasn't pregnant with Jack, but *I* wanted to help her and be there for her.
After Jack was born I found out that the birth had ended up being a cesarean after 2 hours of pushing.. . I felt really bad because I felt like I could have helped her. I wasn't there, so I don't know how, but I still feel like I could have. So now, a good friend has heard me talking about it and has asked that I attend her birth. it should be easy, she's going for her third birth, the second at home. But then, what do I know? I have never attended a birth that was not one of mine... Luckily, I have some great help - my own Doula, Lara, who I love dearly. She doesn't know it yet, but she is going to be a great mentor. :)
Off to help the world, one new mommy at a time, by helping to create better births. :)
Okay, so that was over the top... but you get the idea. Birth is a very powerful thing and no matter how it happens, a woman should not be traumatized or regretful about how it happens when it can be such an empowering part of her life. That's what I want to help other women have, empowering births.

Now, all that said... I'm quaking in my boots... much like cold feet before a wedding!

Jack's Birth Story

I don't know why I seem to have to wait 6 months to write about birth... It mist have something to do with the time frame where I no longer feel like I have a baby anymore.
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I started labor pains on Sunday night and they continued through Monday morning. I got out of bed about 3 am and woke John to let him know I would be in the tub and not to get up. He went back to sleep for about 2 minutes, and then it registered. I was in the tub. This was for real. He was up and at 'em doing everything he could possibly think of. He wanted to call everyone then. I reminded him we had a ways to go. He busied himself while I relaxed and Dory slept. I got back out, went shuffling about and may have gone back to bed for a short while. Around 7 or 9am John called everyone to give them a heads up, especially Tricia so she could be on her was to come and watch Dory. The plan was loosely to go to lunch/dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Raymond and my Mom while we were laboring at the house. Dory woke up around 8am and played with us some until Auntie arrived. John had blown up the pool in the dinning room. I went back to the tub about 9am and when I had been in for a few minutes I felt my labor slow down and I nearly fell asleep in the tub. I got out and went to bed to rest, napping for about 30 minutes while listening to Enya. Lara showed up right as I was coming to and sat with me as we chatted about the birth and other things. I love having her around, she makes birth easy. As Lara and I were talking my midwife arrived with her assistant and 2 of her children. I got up and helped everyone get situated. It wasn't long before I headed out for a walk to get labor going again, the midwife left to go for a postpartum check, Tricia left with Dory to eat with Grandma and Grandpa and I kept blogging it all.

see http://jenraymond.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html for the rest... lol

Dory's Birth Story...

So, as I look forward to giving birth to Jack, I have a natural desire to compare my expectations of the impending event to Dory's story. I know I shouldn't, that every birth is completely different and that I certainly do not want to overshadow his story with hers. That said, I know that *I* have never blogged her account and I know that Jack's will soon be up for all to read. Therefore, it makes sense to add Dory's now.

Much of what follows is my recollection at 6 months along with other info that I didn't include then due to space issues in the baby book... And John should feel free to correct or add his memories to the comments section (please sweetie?)
_______________________________________________________________

On Monday I started contracting in the early morning, about 2am. They went away by the early afternoon and I had spent much of the morning in the bath tub relieving some of the discomfort that they were causing and ding final nesting things. The contractions were accompanied with bloody show and part of the mucus plug.

On Tuesday, the same thing happened, early am contractions! John stayed home with me since he was very excited and we had a wonderful day together doing us things, but again, they stopped at about noon.

Wednesday and Thursday were more of the same, contractions and bloody show that went away with time only (didn't matter what I was doing, I was having steady contractions) and John being very excited and sticking around, us doing stuff together. In the afternoons, when he was disappointed at the lack of a main event, he would head into work for a few hours.

Friday started very similar!
However, they didn't stop. They got much stronger (not so much regulated though) and by 5am I had already taken more than one long bath to ease the pain. As the day went, they kept getting stronger, and not regulated.
By noon we had called our Doula, Lara Miller, to let her know that today was going to be the day since she has 3 kids and could use the bit of warning. We stayed at home until 11pm that night before making the 35 minute drive to our hospital and CNM, Bobbie Kimsey. Some of it was Lara's urging, but I knew that I wanted to labor at home for as long as I could. I didn't want to have issues at the hospital with someone tampering with the labor or attempting to give me a needle (again, needle phobic here).
Bobbie had told me that as long as I was hydrated upon admittance that it was fine and we could forgo even a heplock. I had been practically gulping water between every contraction the whole time, I have never been more hydrated than I was then.
I really thought at that point that Dorothy would have been born by 2am, but we were very wrong.
The stress on me of the hospital admittance (the nurses there didn't believe me about no needle and they had to find Bobbie to confirm it with her) caused me to plateau and I didn't progress much after that. I am willing to put good money on it that my cervix closed up a good bit on the way to the hospital too.... (YES, it CAN do that!!!) The contractions were intense and I managed the pain once there with low moaning (much like a cow's moo), walking, taking showers, and even singing - everything that I could think of to control the pain naturally. It did work! I did labor some on the toilet since i was drinking, but that just hurt like HELL. (We did however flood the shower, bathroom and part of the LDR room since John's foot ended up on the drain... It took us forever to figure that out, we even had ever available towel on the floor sopping it up!) Some of the nurses at the hospital thought I was a bit odd - not wanting drugs of any kind, but I knew in my heart it was best for both Dorothy and me not to.
Labor slowed down twice; I was threatened with both Pitocin and Cervidil and would not accept. We got it going again both times without medical intervention. (Nipple stimulation, *blech*)
I was nearly (well, pretty much was) sleeping throughout the contractions at the end I was so tired at that point. John was awesome, staying right by my side giving me strength when I needed it. I wouldn't allow the poor guy to leave for any reason.
I was too tired at this point to make it back to the toilet so I went all over the chucks pads on the bed, this is what happens when you are forcing fluids, and the last thing I needed was the bladder to be in my way fo pushing. that would have just added more pain and complicated things.
I ate PB&J sandwich, I think.

At about 7am Dory decided that she was ready and I started to push. It was at this point that my water finally broke. I felt her head as she crowned, but had NO interest in seeing it in a mirror. Two times I pushed too hard; on one of those times I should not have pushed at all... It was then that I gave myself a 3rd degree tear up. It was the ONLY time that I screamed the entire labor, that stinking hurt. At 7:36 on Saturday morning she was born.
She started nursing immediately. I had several stiches and was done. Never one needle except for the stiches.
Bobbie did want to give me Pitocin after birth to prevent hemmoraging, but I asked her if I was. She said "no" so I told her she could give it to me when I actually was, not before.
We forewent the newborn eyedrops.
She was 6lbs 12ozs and 21 inches long.
Her hair had been matted with blood while crowing and Bobbie tried to tell me as she was crowing that she had brown hair. Even though I could not see her, I knew better and corrected them. She did indeed have blonde hair, and lots of it.

NCFOM

North Carolina Friends of Midwives has introduced legislation to legalize Certified Professional Midwives here in North Carolina. NCFOM has worked very hard to put together a good bill that should not affect lay midwives or current status of Certified Nurse Midwives. I too hope that the midwife we choose for Jack's birth can soon practice legally here in NC. We had a very safe uneventful birth, but her legalization would have made any transports to the hospital even safer for the baby and I should something had gone wrong. It didn't, and we are thankful. Statistics, clear unmuddled ststistics, show that for a low risk birth, homebirthing is SAFER than a homebirth. NC-- Please legalize my CPM!!!

To the ped's, finally.

We are finally heading in to the official doctor's!
That said, the midwife came by this morning to check up on us and... this little guy is 8lbs 8oz!!! Nearly an entire pound heavier just 11 days after birth. I guess we will see how well he is doing on other things here real soon! (Personally, I think he is doing just perfect.)
We will be delaying all vaccines for awhile, and of course didn't have the eye drops at birth or the vitamin K injection. The only thing other than an intro to our pediatrician will be the PKU test. I would be fine skipping it, but it certainly doesn't hurt to run it since it is just a blood draw and tests for over 30 (here in NC) possible problems, many of them genetic, and not an issue for us, but one is cumulative and better treated as early as possible. Do I think it is an issue? No, not a bit... but the test certainly will not hurt anything. So, we'll see! Off we go in a few minutes.

And it begins......

*****TMI WARNING!!! BIRTH RELATED INFO TO FOLLOW!*****

I can say that so far we have a VERY obedient son. His Daddy told him a few days ago that he was not allowed to come until at least Thursday due to a major upheaval at work. Just before John left the house this morning, he told Jack that he had the all clear. Apparently he heard. There was nothing when I first woke up this morning, but at 9am when John walked out the door, both my mucas plug and bloody show made their appearence!

So, it begins. Most women go into labor within the next few days after that. Daddy's guess is tomorrow (predicted about a week and a half ago), mine is still holding at birth on Sunday.

No contractions yet, but today I will be doing all of the last minute nesting that I can!

True TMI-
I checked my cervix this morning in the shower after the bloody show.... and my finger want ALL THE WAY through. I've touched the baby! (With sac still in tact...) Now that, my friends, was really COOL. Okay, TMI over.

On birth

Today in my Charlotte Doula yahoo group email someone had left a link about Dr. Wonderful, and that he did really exist. I have now meandered all over this lady's space and have enjoyed every moment. Enjoy.

http://observantmidwife.blogspot.com/2007/08/birth-unfolds-in-photos-words.html

Birthing Situation Solution Search Day 1

:) Went really, really well.
We saw a birthing center in High Point this morning and interviewed a midwife in SC this evening. Tomorrow will be the same sort of lineup, only the BC is in SC and the midwife is here in Charlotte, so hopefully we will be on better ground after that. John and I both expect God will show us the answer pretty distinctly. So far, we agree on our impressions of what we have seen. :) Always a GREAT thing for us... You know.... Because we think so much alike... :LOL:
Yesterday I spent practically the whole day on the phone lining up appointments and talking to people, amassing research...
You know, like the car a few weeks ago- obsessing.
If only I were content enough to go to an OB, have an intervention packed birth and be content with it.
:sigh:
Nope, I know too much for that route. Ignorance isn't bliss, but sometimes it might just be easier.
Oh well, back to obsessing about Jack's birth!!!!

It's showtime!

I'm in labor, it started last night around 8:30 and has gotten stronger all night. We did manage to sleep some, me being awakened by contractions every few minutes, but I'll be darned if he doesn't come today. :)

Thankfully, Dory is still sleeping.

Apparently, I can't predict birth times and days... just when labor starts.

The Middle Wife

The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I
never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they
want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then
Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate
for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids
are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She
walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!"

Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
Mom to lie down in bed like this."

Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there
in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the
bed, like psshhheew!"

This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,
all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff
that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a
lot of toys inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when
it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
another "Middle Wife" comes along.

_____________________________________________
That was just so cute that I had to share it. :)

I went to my very first birth...

and it was absolutely beautiful. Happy Birthday Stella!

Zuri Elizabeth arrived!

December 12/30/07 11:18pm
And even better yet, I was there for it. Doreen's doula was getting over being ill, and while likely fine, Doreen was worried enough that she asked me to stand in. I was thrilled, to say the least. Everything worked out great, John was off of work at just the right time and Doreen went into labor at the perfect moment. She is a beautiful little girl and Doreen's blog has tons of pictures (where I shamelessly stole this one from) as well as her birth story.
Thanks for allowing me to be there Doreen, it was beautiful.

Good Morning!

Thanks everyone!!! I got some great pictures of Dory this morning hold Jack for the first time. I hope to add them to the gallery this afternoon. They are some great ones too.

It's amazing to me, I feel better after this birth than I did with Dory and I was on advil AFTER she was born and have not had a drop of anything this go around.

And get this, we all had over a solid 5 hours of sleep last night!!!! From 2:30 am until about 8am, solid. Now, THAT would have NEVER happend in the hospital! I am so glad to be at home.....

Where is the coffin?

This is the first grandfather in about 3 generations of Raymonds to hold and see his grandson! (Apparently they have a habit of dying right before or after birth missing the event of meeting...) Jack almost gave him an urn as a gag gift.

:)

We are doing really well, he's nursing like a champ. 7#10 & 20 1/8" After that last tub post, things went full force. I was planning on a water birth, but it ended up being in the living room in a modified squat. Daddy caught him, and I cut the cord over 2 hours later. I am ready for bed, but feeling really great... and am SOOOO glad not to be at the hospital right now. Even John, the orignal no way at home man, is now sold. It's amazing, he looks almost just like his sister did.... who is absolutely enthralled, BTW.

Pics at: http://picasaweb.google.com/zzwhitejd/JackSBirth

A few virtual tears

It's amazing to me how fast little ones grow. Jack doesn't resemble a newborn to me anymore. I almost feel jipped. Sure, I'm not sleep deprived or in the throes or PPD or baby blues, but really, it's killing me. He's gained nearly 2 pounds in 3 weeks, or at least 1 and a half already and his newborn diapers already fit completely different than they did. They are so much snugger and some of his newborn clothes are already tight. His shoulders have filled out and look like miniatures of Daddy's right now.
Tomorrow is the first day that I will have the kids all by myself, and today was our first trip out alone. It went well, almost too well actually. It just feels unreal that I gave birth 3 weeks ago, it seems like it was so much longer ago, but should only have been a few days ago. I feel too good physically. Where has 3 weeks gone? Honestly? I don't have a clue and that bothers me.
I really like savoring every moment of a child, at least that is what I did really well with Dory, enjoying the moment and not wishing it away. I want to savor Jack too, and feel like I am, but time is moving so much faster this go around that I feel like I am missing it. It hurts, in a very real way.
I wish I could just slow time down, just a little bit.
I want to savor a few more of the little moments, peer in his face just a little more.
Father time... are you out there?

He's 'official' now

Jack is Officially official now. We all drove downtown to the Office of Vital Statistics to register his birth yesterday morning. It might sound like nothing, but at the hospital the mother fills out the Mother's Certificate and the child is automatically registered for the state and federal offices. Since he was born here at home, he didn't have that very simple form- until yesterday. They didn't know he was alive, now they do. He is officially Jack William Raymond on paper. It's an unusual milestone, but one nonetheless.

Pregnancy brain

We are nearly ready... the birth pool has been cleaned and other little things have been accomplished. I had lots to say, but can I remember any of it? Nope. I have pregnancy brain. Oh well. At least we are full term right now.... any time would be pretty much great!

Let's see....

News....

Nesting,
The crib is back up in it's new life as Jack's bed. :) Another thing scratched off the nesting list. Now I want to paint glow in the dark stars on Dory's ceiling as a treat for her. A house cleaner is due by in another week to help us with the layer of dirt and dog hair we have. Now, if I could just get the home birth supplies cheaply rounded up without patronizing Wal-Mart, whom I boycott.

Pregnancy (33 days till due date),
Yesterday my hips started hurting like HELL. The pubic bone hurt a few weeks ago, but this is certainly different. It's excruciating to move at times in certain directions, so I am trying to keep up with my exercises -- they should help some.
I actually read last night that -seriously- belly dancing is supposed to help in labor and contractions. So, yep, I'll break out the belly dancing kit that we got last Christmas at the Sunday School White Elephant party and start practicing. (Attached to it was the pic of a newborn in the class-- a warning of what use of this would do for you. There was quite a bidding war on it! We then created a waiting list for it... And we are all due in the next two months. Apparently the waiting list is dangerous too....) Maybe the finger cymbals will help.... I wonder if the little stick-on jewels will stay put during a waterbirth... humm.....
Anyway, other than that, I feel great still and this am was the first time that my ring finger was swollen enough that I was not sure I should be wearing it, it did come off easily though... I still don't swell often or for long.

Sewing,
I finally got my hands on some PUL (waterproof fabric often used for dipes)(Thank you Sharon!!!) and made a diaper hanging pail/liner for upstairs so that I don't have to remember to bring every singe one down until wash day. And the whole thing will go straight into the wash. Now to make a wet bag for the diaper bag as well.
I also made my first ring sling.... And it might just be the HUGE belly in the way, but at the moment, it is just NOT comfy.... Maybe the fabric is too stiff still... I guess I'll figure it out soon. On that same subject, I am very close to having a buckling Mei Tai up for sale on my sling site, Ba has the FrankenTai prototype at the moment and is keeping me informed of all of it's shortcomings.

Food,
And, now on a food related note, we started this week with a local food co-op for natural foods... We get 100% grass fed organic raw milk, cheeses and meats straight from a farmer twice a month and order our other foods such as cereal and regular items from a catalog once a month for 20-40% off grocery store prices! That is on top of our organic produce delivery we get every two weeks... And let me tell you, the apples are the best! The three groups will cover just about everything except the massive amounts of bananas that we go through every two days and the horrible for you treats that we will occasionally still want to consume. It feels good to have it pretty much figured out before Jack got here and I was too busy to learn how it all works. This also means far fewer trips to the grocery for us, something that I think will be quite enjoyable.
Also, John is on another wonderful bread baking spell. He has in teh past two days produced some of his all time best loaves. One Half Wheat & Rye loaf and one Oatmeal Raisen loaf. Yummmmmm.

Birthing Situation Solution Search Update

Well, almost all of the interviews are finished and John and I have lots to discuss. I will say this, we agreed that the birth centers we visited were nice, but not what we wanted. We might just be hiring a maid's housekeeping services, if you know what I mean. :-)